Learning to live with impermanence

Hello, my friends!  The roller coaster of life has taken me away from blogging as of late, but I sure miss being here on WordPress amongst good peeps and fellow writers.  I’m beginning to feel rather rusty as a blogger, but when I found myself musing about the impermanence of life this morning…I thought I would try to crank out a post.  Please bear with me as I clumsily get my thoughts down on paper (Well, on the computer screen, you know what I mean 😊). 

Most of us seek permanence.  We focus on building long-term relationships, sustainable careers, strong roofs over our heads, etc.  We are determined to ward off that which makes us feel vulnerable, unsafe, or unhappy, trying to build the walls around us stronger and more durable.  We fight off change with everything we’ve got.  But the impermanence of life is there to remind us that the only constant in this life is that it is forever changing…and THAT will never change.  Seeking permanence is like chasing a mirage through the desert.  You keep running toward it but can never quite put your hands on it.

My life feels awfully impermanent right now.  As I have written about before, my husband is sick and has a stage IV diagnosis.  His western medicine doctors don’t offer up much hope about his quality of life or possibility of healing.  Recently, we started seeing a holistic doctor and we saw some great improvements in a short time.  Unfortunately, my husband is feeling poorly again, and we are both feeling the heaviness of this let down.  We will continue with the path we are on as it does appear to be helping, but the ups and downs of this health journey bring on a lot of stress, anxiety, and make it difficult to hold on to hope… though I AM holding on to hope. 

Life is incredibly fragile, and it is not permanent, no matter how much we want it to be.  I have learned this painful lesson before and have no wish to face it again, but no matter what I do… I will lose those that I love at some point, or, they will lose me.  But one thing that I have learned about emotional pain is that it is also impermanent, even if it feels like it will last forever.

This reality is hard AND I have choices to make. 

I am going to do my best to choose to live each day in a peaceful, fulfilling way.  I will do little things to make myself happy- read, write, spend time with friends, sit in the sauna, play fetch with my puppies, be generous to others, and lay out in the sun.  I am going to do my best to set aside my fears regarding the impermanence of this life and focus on really LIVING this life.  I know there will be days when there are more tears than smiles, but I am going to try to let go of my fear of impermanence. 

Thank you for reading!

Trying to find my sparkle,

Grace

17 thoughts on “Learning to live with impermanence

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  1. Beautifully said, Grace. Impermanence is such a hard one. And even when I find myself accepting it – that acceptance is impermanent and I have to keep working at it. I think you said it well that we focus on LIVING this life and if there are days that have more tears than smiles, that’s okay too. Sending my best wishes.

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      1. The stage is set by how we feel, it can also be the surroundings around us causing us to feel a certain way.
        I believe and as I’m currently living that even in times that seem hopeless we can create hope by setting the stage up with hope and kindness and doing positive things to influence a changes in anything
        We want. So, my question is how do you want this stage of y’all’s life to feel?

        Currently the stage I’m setting for my circumstances are grace and peace and Patience, along with joy and hope. I’m hope this help. I appreciate the read !

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  2. Much love and light to you both dear lady, I have no doubt it is a very difficult journey for you both. The only thing I can reply truly to your post is simply this, and as you will know, that life creates change so that it can change us. Always something to nudge the unknown in us so that we will answer the best we can. And as time goes by it builds an empathy and compassion so that our love grows, for us and others. And in the end, in understanding my fears in doing all of this, something beautiful raised its head and gifted me with something so beyond words, so profound that I knew then and there, that every step I had taken had now given me something that I would never ever change…because it was all the making of me, to become that love and happiness we have always looked for. Yes, there are indeed hard bits, some very hard…but they are the ones that create us truly. Again, I know its hard, and difficult when we can’t see anything…but that is because we hold with a hope and faith that there is indeed something at our destination. Have faith dear lady, it does indeed have a purpose. A very beautiful one 😀❤️🙏🏽

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am very sorry about your husband’s continued struggles. Life really is, as you said, a series of milestones and stages that move from one impermanent state to another. There is so much to enjoy and learn at each stage. Then it’s time to let go and move on to the next. But the memories last forever. Thanks for the reminder!

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  4. It is so good to see a blog from you. I admire your approach to such a profoundly difficult situation. The power of a positive attitude is one of the most underappreciated, underestimated, strengths in humanity. I must say, you are the poster girl for it.
    I wish nothing but the best for you and your husband.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this incredibly supportive comment, my dear friend. We are hanging in there. I am sorry I haven’t written, but I have been conserving my energy, as you advised. Hope things are well for you and your lovely wife ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Our impermanence is the greatest fear we must all face as human beings. Treasure each precious moment you spend with your husband, on his good days and his bad days. You have come a long way together. Your shared joy is never lost ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ugh I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I’m glad to see you write a post on your blog. This was a beautiful and heartbreaking post where I see you share both the hurt but also the strength you find in the impermanence. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this beautifully supportive comment, ccerebrations! Life does feel particularly hard lately, but I am trying really hard to seek joy every day. I was at a beautiful nursery with my brother over the weekend, and found a journal with a lovely quote on the front… I splurged and bought it, and am using it to write my daily gratitude, which I am finding really helps keep me in a good mindset. Hope all is well in your world! ❤

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  7. Thank you for sharing!!.. I understand as I helped my wife deal with cancer and what helped me through it was a lifetime of memories and joys we shared together ( and still do in my heart) before her passing.. nothing is permanent so I follow Roy Bennett’s advice, “Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” (Roy T. Bennett ), and follow my heart as the heart will go on… 🙂

    Until we meet again..
    May flowers always line your path
    and sunshine light your way,
    May songbirds serenade your
    every step along the way,
    May a rainbow run beside you
    in a sky that’s always blue,
    And may happiness fill your heart
    each day your whole life through.
    (Irish Saying)

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  8. I truly understand your situation right now and the impermanence of it all too. I have found the hardest thing for me currently is learning that my life matters too, and while I wait for my son’s health to improve I struggle to allow myself the freedom to be creative. It almost feels rude and inconsiderate. The impermanence of his good health is a constant source of stress, but the impermanence of his poor health is a hugely considered relief. The yin and yang of life has its way of finding the balance. I suppose it’s my job to find the path that sits between the two.
    I miss our chats lovely lady, I miss our blogging days too, but health issues have a way of eclipsing everything. Huge hugs to you and your lovely husband and all my well wishes and healing thoughts go out to you both. xxx💎💖

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